Firstly, I’d like to start off with a big, heartfelt SORRY.
I have been absent from my blog and both my Instagram accounts for a few weeks…this was not something I had planned on doing.
Four weeks ago I was posting regularly and had even signed up to Caroline Towers’ Trigger your Blog, four week online course. I was excited and eager to put what I would learn into my blog – I’d even created a handful of draft posts ready too!
Then suddenly, my mood and general wellbeing shifted. I felt tired all the time and suddenly found the easiest of tasks a struggle. This was despite having a great social calendar go look forward too and spending lots of time with those I love.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a number of years, and take medication. I have no trigger and because of this I find it difficult to know when I hit a low. Usually it takes a family member or a close friend to ask me what’s wrong a few times before I realise I’ve become quiet and withdrawn (those who know me know me know I’m usually quiet a loud and talkative person)!
I’m not writing this post for sympathy (I know many people suffer and each person has their own battle to deal with). No, I’m writing this because for the first time in my life, I have recognised myself starting to fall and this is a BIG deal for me.
In recent months I have been getting myself into a better place mentally, getting myself organised and giving myself a goal or clear focus in a number of areas in my life (being in control and on top of my finance and deciding where I want to be in 3 years time).
So when I suddenly stopped wanting to work on my blog – which was to play a big part in my motivation to keep working hard to achieve my goals and continually grow, I let myself down. I know it couldn’t be helped and I can’t control it anymore than I can control the weather, yet, because of it I have missed a big opportunity to grow and learn and this upsets me.
BUT. It’s okay. I continue to take my meds, I have an appointment with my doctor and have talked to my family who are the most supportive people I could wish for. I know why I’m feeling lousy and can accept it, possibly quicker than ever before. I am going in the right direction!
So as much as this is an apology for the lack of posts, I’ve realised writing this that this is also an apology to myself. No more giving myself a hard time when I’m feeling lousy, and quitting things I enjoy. Instead, I’m going to let it be, recognise, accept and slowly get back into the things I want to do and get myself back on track.
So, my promise to you (and myself) is I am going to dive into my Trigger your Blog course this week and get myself blogging again….!